Do you ever feel Trapped and Over Whelmed in relationships?

 

There is a good chance that you have an Avoidant attachment style. An attachment style is the way a person relates to people, themselves, and the world around them. One's attachment style is created and influenced by the way that person's primary care giver took care of them. An avoidant attachment style is created when the primary care giver is emotionally unavailable or is emotionally immature and is unable to validate, accept, and care for the child's emotions. 

This avoidant attachment style causes the individual to ignore and suppress their own emotions in order to receive love from the primary care giver. This habit is then carried into adulthood which causes the individual to ignore their own feelings and be unaware of what they want in real time and may feel numb all together. Avoidant individuals tend to rationalize and intellectualize their feelings instead of actually feeling and processing them in a healthy way. 

It is very common for Avoidant individuals to use their creature comforts to soothe their emotions instead of actually processing them in order to use their emotions as a guide to what they need to do next in life and in their relationships. These creature comforts include bingewatching their favorite shows, emotional eating, and participating in "Retail Therapy". These acts are healthy in moderation but it is not truly processing emotions. Whatever emotions that are not process tends to stay in the body and comes up in other areas of that persons life.  

This inability to process emotions bleeds into relationships and manifests its self as having no boundaries. The Avoidant individual is unable to be their most authentic selves in any relationship. This includes friendships, romantic relationships, and even professional relationships. The main way to remedy this is by getting more in touch with your feelings and be able to feel them in real time to speak your truth in the moment. There are also many layers to this process of moving the needle towards being securely attached so if you feel that its right for you you can book a free consultation here and we can get you feeling better and more fulfilled.